Sunday, May 29, 2016

It's All About the Joy!

Do you know why children are naturally joyful? Because they don't know how to worry. Sure, they fuss when they need something, but they are naturally full of joy. They see the world through a lens of purity, love and absolute joy in the delight of discovery. As we get older, we lose that joy and innocence, but God wants to restore us to a place of childlike trust in Him. It's doesn't come easy. It comes with practice.

It starts by realizing that we really, truly, can trust Him - and letting go of all the things we can't control. It's letting go of the answers we can't produce and trusting Him to fulfill our desires and prayers in His time. It's a constant effort to let go and trust Him so that we can enter His rest. So, thank God for whatever you’re dealing with. Thank Him for being bigger than what you see going on. Thank Him for what He’s doing that you can’t see. Thank Him and praise Him for being the God of your turnaround. He’s able! He’s just watching us to see if we will give him the right responses.

"Whoever offers praise glorifies me: and to him that orders his conversation aright will I show the salvation of God." Psalm 50:23, American King James Bible

Some versions say offer thanksgiving and others say offer praise, but they are really interchangeable. To thank God is to offer Him praise. It can be so easy to resort to complaining when we are stressed, disappointed or frustrated, but we have to embrace the challenges. It’s difficult, but as children of God it’s what we’re called to. We really do have to make a choice what is most important. If we choose anger, frustration, unbelief, double-mindedness, complaining or bitterness, we aren't aligned with anything that God can put a blessing on. WOW. Stop and think about that for a moment, 'cause that's a big one. What is really most important? You can choose to keep a negative attitude, but doing so will cause you to forfeit the blessings of God.

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed at the revelation of His glory.…" 1 Peter 4:12,13 NIV

There is a time to go through the process that matures us, and those can be very trying times. We have to go through the troubles and trials in order to produce a level of anointing. We have to be stripped in order to be equipped. Those times can be filled with disappointment, discouragement and confusion. It can literally feel like the challenges come to wash away the very foundation of faith in your life, but those are the times when we are tested as to our responses. Complaining and negative words usher in the forces of hell to produce bitterness, unbelief and rebellion towards God. It strips us of anointing, power and blessing. What's more, it keeps people trapped in old cycles where they keep repeating the same sort of trials and they get stuck in the wilderness. WHY? Because they haven't learned how to take authority over their emotions and responses. Remember the Israelites? An entire generation perished in the wilderness because of bitterness and complaining! God can't and won't bless unbelief because it's aligned with rebellion. 

"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." James 4:6, NIV

God can't bless pride or negativity, but He waits in order to be gracious to us. What does He wait for? (Hint: Repentance). A correct response of humility and faith!

"Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." Isaiah 30:18 ESV

Whoever offers praise, glorifies God.

Whoever glorifies God aligns himself with faith, which then allows God an opportunity to release a blessing. God has a process for producing an anointing in us. It’s called pressing, squeezing, crushing - because that is what produces the anointing oil. We have to go through things in order to produce the anointing. But – when the process is complete and we are ready to enter a new season – that is the time when often the fire of refinement seems to get hotter. God squeezes the oil out of you, and He will press and press until joy comes out of you IN SPITE OF THE TROUBLES. 

God wants to give us a fresh anointing. So many people have gone through difficulties and they’ve been carrying a spirit of heaviness. Sometimes we can let that heaviness and discouragement or even feelings of being offended with God pull us away from fellowship or worship with others. A person can't grow if they're not rooted in Christ. Members of the body of Christ need one another. Believe me, I know all the good excuses and defensive comebacks...there was a time when I didn't want to be around others either. But we can't grow into maturity without others. The word of God says "iron sharpens iron," in Proverbs 27:17. One person sharpens another. We learn from one another. God puts His message into each vessel, and we each have a different part of revelation. When we share the word of God and the revelation He reveals with one another, we grow. Just like a plant cannot grow unless it is rooted in rich soil, and it cannot produce fruit if it is not rooted and stable, neither can a Christian grow, produce fruit and produce an anointing - unless we are rooted both in obedience and in the word of God.

"Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:4 NIV

The word of God says that it’s the anointing that breaks the yoke. So how are you going to break the yoke of heaviness, or disappointment, or whatever you’ve been wearing – unless you’ve got the anointing? Others have been carrying around a  yokes of condemnation, worry, and all kinds of things that strip people of joy. When we’re stripped of joy, we’re stripped of our strength. When we’re stripped of joy and strength we’re stripped of anointing. 

Do you have the oil flowing in your life?

When we’ve got joy, we’ve got anointing because they just go together. God has been putting the same songs in my heart day and night for the last two weeks, and it’s all about being happy. Joyful. The word happy is a literal translation for the word blessed. I kept wondering why I couldn’t get the lyrics out of my head, until finally, I got it. It’s all about the joy. God wants to refill the wells that have run dry. He wants to refill the wells of living water within us. Can you say with me, “SPRING UP, O WELL!” “LIVING WATER, BE FILLED IN JESUS NAME!” Be grateful that your sins are forgiven! Do you know how huge that is? Past, present and future. Your sins are forgiven in Christ. That’s a reason to be happy! God is working on the situations that concern you. Whether you can see it or not, He never slumbers or sleeps. He's always watching out for us. That's a reason to rejoice! Sometimes we can't see what He's doing until one day our testimony just shows up! Believe it. Trust Him. The greatest evidence that we're really trusting God is to come to a place of total surrender. Surrender is making a choice to end the power struggle and the battle within yourself. When you choose to end the battle, your surrender produces peace, and joy always follows peace. Look back and remember all the times He's been good to you. Rehearse the goodness of God, not the disappointments. When we do, we build our faith and align ourselves for the blessing God wants to release. Friend, some of you reading this need to just surrender. Some of you need to get back in fellowship with other Christians. Lay down the excuses and just take those steps of faith to get back in relationship with others again. Trust God to help you overcome all your doubts, disappointments, and past negative experiences. Healthy relationships are a blessing from God and they add such richness to your life. They help you grow, and when you grow, you produce an anointing in your life that helps break the yoke of heaviness. God wants us to overflow with joy. Not the kind you have to manufacture in your own strength, but the kind that brings laughter in the face of whatever you’re going through. God wants to release a fresh anointing in you that brings fresh strength. It’s the glory that rests upon you, the glory and anointing that breaks the yoke. Not only off your own neck but strong enough to break the yokes off of others too. An increase in joy is an increase in strength to break through and a fresh anointing. when you choose joy, your spirit will agree and you really can enter into God's peace and rest. try it and see. Choose joy today!


Monday, May 16, 2016

Strategy for Crossing Over into the New

The other night I had a dream and in it I saw myself telling others that their prayers and declarations had filled the bowls. I saw myself holding up a lot of various mixing bowls as an example but they were all empty! This portion of the dream points to the fact that the bowls of the prayers and incense have been emptied out and the answers are falling to earth. The harps were instruments of praise; the vials were full of a sweet smelling fragrance to the Lord, or incense, which signify the prayers of the saints: prayer and praise should always go together.


“And He came and took the scroll from the right hand of the One seated on the throne. When He had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp, and they held the golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song: “Worthy are You to take the scroll and open its seals, because You were slain, and by Your blood You purchased for God those from every tribe and tongue and people and nation.…”
Rev. 5:7-10


I do not believe it is the final time of judgment, although in every time and season there is an appointed time when the prayers of the saints are fulfilled. I believe God is saying that this is one such ‘appointed time’ when we see many prayers answered. O God, let Your daughter bring forth the birth with joy and laughter at the goodness of God!

A Strategy for Crossing Over

I also saw myself singing a song about ‘crossing over.’ The song reminded me of the Israelites crossing over into their promise land. Suddenly I rose up and declared that this is a strategic time and we must get out ahead of the enemy. I told the people to use all their prayer declarations, as many as they could find, and bombard heaven with them now! The strategy was that it would force the enemy to a battle in the airwaves while creating opportunity for God to move the troops on the ground and help them cross over. That’s us!


I was reminded of the scripture in 2 Kings 13:15 where Elisha told King Joash to get an arrow and shoot it out the window. Elisha told the king to keep letting the arrows fly but the king lightly esteemed the words of the prophet and he only shot the arrows three times. Elisha was very troubled by this and told the king that had he only regarded those words as a divine command, God would have given him increasing victory over a greater period of time. But, since the king did not continue to strike at his enemies, his victory would be short lived and he would not gain significant advantage over them. God is telling us now to strike the enemy with heard-hitting prayers and decrees and the way will begin to open up before us. 


I started to see people get up but not quickly enough. The floors and walls were melting. I knew that meant it would be significant of a quick move, a quick transition, and people would not be able to take everything with them. They would have to travel light. This is another admonishment to prepare ourselves now, both in the natural and in the spiritual. Get rid of unnecessary baggage! Let go of things that are not useful or necessary. Whether it’s emotional baggage or material things, it’s time to let go of those things you’ve been holding on to that serve no purpose.  


Floors speak of the foundation, humanity, even a place of threshing in prayer and intercession. They also speak of humility. Walls speak of barriers, emotional hindrances and things we may tend to resist. Walls also speak of things that separate us from God, ourselves and others. I believe this portion of the dream has a double meaning.


First, it speaks of the need to humble ourselves before God, to rid ourselves of stubbornness and resistance to things He wants us to accept. Pride, fear and the need to try to control things often hinders people from truly accepting God’s way as the best way. These are barriers to our relationship with Him, and also tend to keep the god of self on the throne of our hearts. Our Father’s desire is for us to trust Him in all things and truly believe that He has a better way to build His kingdom plans and purposes. We cannot build with God in the new if we are still battling things within. As much as possible, be at peace with yourself and others so that you are able to focus on what God wants to bring you into.


The second aspect of interpreting the melting walls and floors is that it speaks of the current form or the structure of the way we’ve always done things beginning to melt away. This can be applied to many different things and the Lord is preparing us to be able to receive the new. I saw a Christmas tree in this portion of the dream, and Christmas trees can represent churches or ministries that appear outwardly attractive but have no spiritual life. God is doing a work of separation and those traditional churches that do not have spiritual life or power will be affected by upcoming changes. God loves His people far too much to leave them stuck in lifeless institutions that have a form of godliness but no power or desire to become the tree of life that represents His kingdom. Religious forms that deny the strength, power and effectiveness of God have no place in His kingdom. They are simply a container that restricts faith and growth of those that identify with them. God’s desire is to set His people free so that they can experience more of Him and serve Him in a kingdom without borders. There will always be people that are fearful of change and tend to resist it because change forces people out of their comfort zone, but it is really important that God’s people trust Him to guide them through the process. He knows what is best, and His plan is to position His people to expand His kingdom! His plans are always much better than we can understand at the time. Get ready to move when God says move!


Friday, May 13, 2016

Praise Your Way to Breakthrough!

Lately I have felt very stuck and as though I just don’t know what (else) to pray. I sat down and asked Holy Spirit to pray my Father’s perfect will in all things pertaining to our lives, and to give me understanding as I did so. As I prayed in the Spirit, immediately this is what I heard and I had to share it because I feel so often we come to the throne room the wrong way. We come with our agenda first! But here is what it sounds like when Holy Spirit leads the way:




My Father,


I come before You with thanks for who You are. I exalt You as Lord, Savior and King of Kings. I exalt You as the name above every other name that has attempted to release oppression over my life. I exalt You as Lord over every circumstance. I praise You for the way You lead me by the hand and help me navigate through tight places. I praise You for the way You restore my hope and help me overcome discouraging thoughts. I thank You and praise You for teaching me Your ways so that my soul can prosper and I can be in health. I thank You for getting my mind off of unfruitful thoughts so that I can see your beauty.  I thank You, Holy Spirit, for sifting out the things that don’t even need to be in my prayers. I thank You, Holy Spirit, for showing me how to pray in such a way as to glorify Christ instead of my circumstances. I praise You for the way You work through the impossibilities of my life. I praise You that You are in control. I praise You that You watch over Your word to bring it to pass. I praise You because I know that my prayers have been heard and I have what I have requested. I praise You for the things I can see working in my life and the things I don’t see. I praise You for the way that You are able to take every circumstance and redeem it to bring hope and something that works for my good. I praise You that You are the One who knows how to bring the missing pieces together. I praise You for being the One who loves Me and aligns me for blessing. I praise You that You are the One who leads me into the good plans You have for me. I praise You for my breath. I praise You for life. I thank You that when I praise You I see You in the highest place and my problems come into perspective. I thank You that my praise defeats all the power of the enemy. I thank You that when I praise You my faith is lifted and I get a spiritual upgrade. I thank You that when I praise you prison doors are opened and I am released from captivity. I thank You that when I praise You the invisible barriers are broken. I thank You that when I praise You I receive revelation and inspired thoughts from You. I thank You that You are the answer to everything I need. I thank You that You are able to get through to those that I cannot reach. I thank You that when I praise You the heavy yoke falls off. I thank You that when I praise You my perception of Your greatness explodes in my heart. I thank You that when I praise You my expectancy towards You increases. I thank You that when I praise you, I know that nothing is impossible with You. I exalt You because the name of Jesus is worthy of my praise!



I think I could have gone on and on, but you get the point. Friend, scripture reminds us that God resists the proud, but He gives grace to the humble. In other words, He may hear everything we say, but He doesn't release His help until our heart is positioned right. Let Holy Spirit shift your prayers and sift out the things that don’t even need to be said. God already knows our frustrations, the things we worry about and the burdens of our heart. He has a plan to take care of all that. What He wants to hear from us is our worship! Thank Him for who HE IS and He will take care of everything else!

Friday, May 6, 2016

Prayer for Healing Autism

Because I do not believe God wants us to surrender hope. We do not have to accept negative prognosis or diagnosis. Whether autism is the result of a vaccine injury or other physical condition, a generational curse or another spiritually rooted issue, Jesus Christ is the answer. His will is to heal and deliver. This prayer was specifically crafted for a child with severe autism. You too can believe that your impossible situation can be reversed when you invite God into the situation.


Note: I highly recommend a couple days of fasting in addition to making this prayer, for there are some demonic spirits that only respond to the additional component of fasting. Insert the name of your loved one in the appropriate place.

  • In the name and authority of Jesus Christ, I pray over ___________’s brain and I break the power of poisoned thinking and the strongholds of the mind. I break the power of word curses and generational curses in Jesus name.


  • In the name and authority of Jesus Christ, I bind the spirits of Legion and the Deaf and Dumb spirit, rendering them powerless, impotent and paralyzed. I forbid Legion and every demon under its authority from interfering or interrupting with _________’s thought processes, motor responses and speech.


  • In the name and authority of Jesus Christ, I bind the spirits of Fear, Anger, Bitterness, Rebellion, Rejection and Disapproval. I bind all mind-blinding spirits and the spirit of Autism.


  • In the name and authority of Jesus Christ, I break any and all ungodly oaths or covenants made with occult spirits, religious spirits and spirits of witchcraft. I bind them to silence, impotence and render them paralyzed in the name of Jesus Christ.


  • In the name and authority of the Lord Jesus Christ, I command every spirit of insanity, doublemindedness, instability and schizophrenia be bound to silence, impotence and paralyzed now. I forbid them from speaking, influencing or taking over _______’s mind and body.


  • Now, in the name and authority of the Lord Jesus Christ, every ungodly and unclean spirit, leave _______ now and go to the abyss that was created for you. I command you to leave and never return in Jesus name! Get out and leave ________ alone!


  • In the name of Jesus Christ I declare that the old has passed away and all things are made new in ________’s life, according to 2 Corinthians 5:17.


  • Let every demonic attachment be severed now, in Jesus name, for it is written that we shall cast out demons, lay hands on the sick and they shall be healed, according to Mark 16:18.

  • In the name and authority of Jesus Christ, let the seeds of inherited bitterness, rejection, fear, rebellion and infirmity shrivel and die now.

  • Let every seed that originates from the tree of good and evil, and every other evil tree, shrivel and die now, in Jesus name.

  • Let all seeds that were implanted by Satan in the generational line, even from before birth shrivel and die now. 

  • Let there be no more bad fruit nor seeds reproduced off of evil trees, in Jesus name.

  • Let all evil inheritances, both spiritually and naturally, be cut off and sent back to where they came from, in Jesus name.

  • I command all fear and anxiety to leave _______ now for it is written that God has not given ______ a spirit of fear, but power love and a sound mind according to 2 Timothy 1:7. Therefore, I release peace, joy, love and the sound mind that is afforded to ______ in Jesus name.

  • I declare that _______will come out of his/her shell and no longer be bound by fear or a hardened heart in Jesus name. Let him/her choose to unlock the door from the inside of their heart and mind. Let them receive a new heart by the Spirit of the Lord, for it is written in Ezekiel 11:19 that God will replace their hardened heart with a heart of flesh; compassion, peace, love and forgiveness.

  • I declare _______ will no longer be shy and withdrawn, but he/she will have normal thought processes and social skills in Jesus name. He/she will speak and behave as a normal child.

  • I command all that has been locked up and locked out in _______’s mind is now opened in Jesus name.

  • I command the thief to return _______’s mind in the name and authority of Jesus Christ. For it is written in Proverbs 6:31 that when the thief is caught he must repay and give up all the substance of his house. I command all that is rightfully _______’s to be restored and returned to him/her now, and with a 7 fold increase as well, in Jesus name.

  • I command the gifts of the spirit that originate in the mind and thought processes to be redeemed and purified by the blood of the sinless lamb. Let every gifting of intelligence, creativity, and witty idea under the inspiration of God be redeemed now for the glory of God, in the name and authority of the Lord Jesus Christ.

  • I command every thought process and mental disorder that made _____ unstable or developmentally disabled to be redeemed and restored to normal function now, in Jesus name. Let there be an acceleration of recovery to redeem lost time in Jesus name.


  • I ask that You would heal the cerebral cortex in _____’s brain. I ask that You would fill any areas of deficiency with the fullness of Your Holy Spirit.

  • ·        Let the brain chemicals of seratonin, noradrenalin, norepinephrine, epinephrine, dopamine and all chemicals produced by the brain be correctly balanced.


  • ·        Let every deficiency be filled and every over secretion be reduced to just the right levels for ______.


  • ·        Let there be no over production of cortisol.

  • ·        Let every amino acid neurotransmitter function with perfect wholeness and soundness as it is in Jesus Christ.

  • ·         Let every gene that carried defective or mutated DNA that would perpetuate weakness,  compromised health, mental instability or that which carries the result of a curse be healed at the cellular level. Infuse every cell, every gene, every strand of DNA with the DNA and healing of Jesus Christ.


  • ·        Let every curse be broken and sent back to the source, for You O God did not give _______ any DNA that would carry a curse. It came from the evil one, and as I submit to Your authority, I resist the devil and command him to take back everything that he has brought upon ________.

  • ·        I pray that any damage to the brain itself, the neurotransmitters, and the centers for impulse control in ______’s cerebral cortex be healed now in Jesus name.

  • ·        Let there be light in every darkened area of the brain, though patterns and emotional responses. I declare the amino acid and peptide neurotransmitters be rewired to function in perfect health and send the proper amounts of chemicals to regulate impulse control, stress management, peace, pleasure and pain management in perfect balance.

  • ·        Let the acytlcholine functions be healed and restored to perfect health.


  • ·        Let the chemical agents and the communication messengers between brain cells function in perfect harmony, balance and soundness in every cell.

  • ·        Let all things in the molecular structure that affect mood, anxiety, appetite, sleep, temperature, heart rate, self-control, discernment, impulse control, aggression, fear, stress management and other physical and psychological appetites, desires and occurrences be healed and restored to the perfect wholeness that exists in Jesus Christ.


  • ·        Holy Spirit, let Your fullness fill any deficiencies in ________’s mind and body, for it is written in Psalm 23:1 that YOU are ______’s Shepherd and he/she shall have no lack.


  • ·        Let all areas that have been damaged, those areas that are genetically unsound, weak, impaired or afflicted be healed, for it is written, "Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed," in Is. 53:4, 5.

  • ·        Lord Jesus, You told us, Your disciples, to lay hands on the sick and they would recover, (Mark 16:18). You said in John 14:7 and again in John 14:16 that if we abide in You, we could ask whatever we desire in Your name and Your Father would do it, because it would bring glory to Your name. So I ask that _______ would be healed in the cellular, molecular level of their genes, in their DNA, and that anything that resides there that is not of Your placement, nor Your will be supernaturally removed, replaced with Your fullness and restored to perfect health right now, in Jesus name.

  • ·        Holy Spirit, please give _______ a revelation of his/her heavenly Father's love and acceptance so that Your perfect love will cast out all fear. Reveal the Father's heart to ________. Show him/her their true identity as it is in Christ. Lead _________ to the salvation that is through Jesus Christ. I thank You and give You glory for the healing that is taking place now in Jesus name. Amen.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Mother's Day Surprise

It was Mother’s Day, 2009, and I received the surprise of my life. My husband and I were getting ready to go to church and as he was in the shower, he heard the Lord speak to him. We were getting in the car and he told me that the Lord had a word for me. I asked him to share it. My husband began by telling me that he had no particular thoughts about anything as he showered, and that what he heard was certainly not from his own thoughts. He told me he was absolutely clear it was God. I pressed him to tell me, curious what on earth the Lord wanted me to know. Norm said, “The Lord said that your son, who is 28, wanted to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day. He wants you to know, ‘it’s ok,’ and he will see you again one day.” 

Well, I wasn't expecting that. I really came unglued and burst into tears. My husband knew that I had had an abortion when I was younger, but I had never gone into much detail about it. I instantly knew there was no way on earth he could have come up with the age of that child. I had to quickly do the math, and sure enough, the child I had aborted when I was 16 would have been 28 that year. I was stunned. I grieved and grieved and finally let out all the pain I had suppressed for so many years. I cried for two days straight. I grieved over the fact that the child I had written off as dead was still very much alive in heaven. How do you explain that to another person? Nothing sounds like a good reason for why you made the choice to end someone else's life if you have to explain it to them. The shame I felt at that moment was just as real as the days after that traumatic event. The sin I tried to escape from so many years before had found me out, and it was unbearable.

 Abortion is something that many women can do in private and think they got away with it, but nothing is actually secret when it comes to the reality of heaven as our witness. Do you have any idea how it feels to be confronted with your own selfishness, knowing that your own comfort and convenience were more important than someone else's life? Try explaining that to the person that just showed up to let you know they are still alive. Neither the Lord nor my son asked for an explanation, but the thoughts went through my mind just the same. No earthly judge or jury convicted me. They didn’t have to. I was very convicted and I felt guilty. Absolutely horrible. I can’t even explain how sick I felt about my own actions all those many years before. You see, a person can try to forget, but their spirit knows their guilt. Your spirit wants to know your sin is forgiven. I had brushed it under the rug with everything else when I accepted Christ as my Savior, but I guess God knew better than I did that I needed to deal with old issues in order to be truly healed from it. He will go as far back as necessary so that we can be made whole. I grieved over the fact that I had never had the consideration to give this child a name or allow him the chance to fulfill his destiny. And yet, I knew he was telling me that he forgave me for that selfish act. Not only did he forgive me, but he wanted me to forgive myself! He wanted me to know that he was ok and someday we would be together again. What a comfort! I can only give hope to other women because of the fact that I am 'in Christ.' I know that because Jesus is my Savior my sins are truly forgiven. I can offer hope to other women who struggle with the issue of abortion regret, because even when we have done the wrong thing on purpose, God can forgive that sin and make us whole again if we are willing to confess it to Him. I can offer hope to other women because I know that without a shadow of doubt that even when a baby's life has ended here on earth, I know with all assurance that they are very much alive in heaven. Aborted babies, miscarried babies, children that have left this earth prematurely are certainly in heaven with Jesus. I recently listened to the testimony of a young boy named Colton Burpo, who testified of his trip to heaven during an emergency lifesaving surgery at the age of four. Colton is a little older now and he and his father Todd have written a book called “Heaven is for Real.” Recently Colton testified during an interview with Fox News that babies that died in miscarriage or an early death continued to grow up in heaven until they reached the age of young adulthood, and then they stopped aging. My husband was so encouraged by his testimony because it confirmed what he had heard in the shower that day. If we continue to remain 'in Christ' we have the assurance that someday we will be reunited with the children we have lost. They are waiting for us! However, it doesn't mean that we should use that as a comfort to excuse our own responsibility towards preserving life and valuing every life that comes into the womb.

After all the crying, praying and asking God to send a message back to the son I never knew I had, I was finally able to forgive myself. I knew in my heart that was one of the things the Lord wanted me to gain from this encounter, but I believe there is so much more as a witness and a testimony to be shared with others, too. I had been 12 weeks along when I'd had the abortion. No one can tell me that life does not begin at conception. A 12 week old fetus is a human being and has every right to life as much as someone that has already been born. It is still a child, even if it is not yet completely formed and viable outside of the womb. That child has a mind, is forming thoughts and emotions and has the spirit of life within them. I told the Lord I didn’t know what He called him, but I wanted to finally give him a name after all those years. I named him Justice. I gave him a name that was significant of what I had taken from him. I felt I owed him that. Giving him a name helped me to begin to really heal.

My hope is for women to find places to share their testimonies and help each other heal. We need to share compassion and love. Part of my healing was released with a divine encounter on Mother’s Day 2009. It helped to know that I finally gave my son a name and acknowledged his life. Sometimes our healing is tied to becoming the voice of the advocate and speaking for those that cannot speak for themselves. We cannot afford to suffer in silence. Injustice is the result of good people staying silent when they should speak up. We need to be a voice for those innocent lives that have their voice taken away from them. Babies enduring the pain of abortion cannot be heard. Justice has a voice. Imagine my surprise as Justice spoke that day on Mother's Day 2009. He used his voice to ask the Lord to give a message to me; a message of forgiveness, healing and hope. And now I offer you, the reader, the same message of forgiveness and mercy from our loving Father. He is very intentional to extend an olive branch of peace and He wants to heal us from our wounds.

I also write this to help other women take a new look at their convictions for being pro-choice. Perhaps it is time to look for a new perspective on an old argument. I believe we are strong enough and resourceful enough to come up with positive solutions. We do not need to destroy our most precious commodity. Children are our future. I don’t believe the majority of women who choose abortion do so because they want to; I think they do so out of fear. Fear that they aren’t able to care for that child, fear of becoming a parent or fear of a lot of unanswered questions. Instead of focusing on fear, perhaps you could focus on a whole new set of ‘what ifs.’ Perhaps there is someone reading this right now and you are pondering your options. What if this child has been sent to you because God saw something in you that you can’t see in yourself, something this child will greatly benefit from? What if this is an opportunity to have your heart and life changed forever by the unconditional love of a child? What if this child will someday save you? What if this child in your womb is destined for great works someday in their future? What if this child could only become the person they need to become, are destined to become, only by coming through your womb, and the unique life experiences that can only be attributed to your specific family and situations that pertain only to you? Think back about the Bible stories of Tamar, Bathsheba, or Mary, the mother of Jesus. Consider these women’s circumstances. One got pregnant as an older woman through the act of prostitution. One got pregnant from an act of adultery while still married to someone else and her ‘boyfriend’ (King David) had her husband killed. One was a teenage mom who hadn’t even had sex yet and was about to be stoned and divorced before she could get married. How’s that for some messed up, backwards state of affairs? Those were some pretty complicated situations! But without each one of these women we wouldn’t have Perez, Solomon or Jesus. If God could get them through the things they faced, don’t you think He can get you through whatever you might face? What if God chose you to raise this child and trusts you with a job no one else would do quite the same? When you stop to think about it, why else would He put a child in your womb? He is not daunted by the things that we fear. There are many things to consider.

Understandably, not all women conceive a child in love. Some are not given a choice, if a predator makes prey of them. It is a most difficult dilemma to try to decide what to do if a woman finds herself pregnant by someone that she despises or has been used to hurt her. Yet, even in the worst of situations there is opportunity to look for a different perspective on the issue if a person is willing to yield to God and allow their heart to be changed. Apart from God, yes, many things would seem to be an impossible task. But with God all things become possible. In our weakness God can give us strength to do what we cannot do on our own. Perhaps what is viewed as an unwanted pregnancy is an opportunity to change a destiny, to be a life giver instead of one who destroys life. Perhaps what the enemy meant for harm is an opportunity to allow God to turn something bad into a testimony of His goodness. Sometimes the greatest gift of life and blessing comes out of tragedy, darkness and despair. Perhaps you have that opportunity now. I implore you to please consider everything I have shared through my own testimony. We can all aspire to make a difference in another person’s life. Many people would embrace the chance to love and nurture a child and give them opportunity to fulfill their God-given right to life and destiny. God can take any mess and turn it into a miracle if He is just given the chance!

We live in a nation that demands our freedoms and takes many of them for granted. The demand for free choice and women’s rights to decide is in the foremost arguments on pro-life or pro-abortion. We have political leaders that will change their convictions on any given moment as long as it helps their political career path and gets them votes for popularity. We live in a society that has given their approval, whether by vote or by silence, that human life is expendable upon our whims as long as it doesn’t inconvenience us. But the moment we stop fighting for one another we lose our humanity. Even the unborn have purpose. Though many of their lives are short lived and may end prematurely, the conviction of these tiny lives brings many people to salvation. I cannot pretend that the child I aborted sent me that message in vain. There was purpose to it not just for my personal healing but as a message to be shared with others. Any sin can be forgiven as long as we bring it to Jesus and allow His blood to wash us clean. We can be reunited with children we have aborted, if we will just hold on to Jesus until the day we are called home. But, in the time we have left, someone has to be a voice crying out against injustice. Someone has to speak up on behalf of the children that are being deprived of life and destiny. It is not ours to take. Maybe if we all speak loud enough, together we can change the course of history.


Father,

I thank You that your grace and mercy is bigger than my sin, mistakes and bad decisions. I thank You that even when I’ve done the wrong thing on purpose, You are still willing to forgive me and You are able to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. I surrender my secret to You, and ask You to help me forgive myself. I choose to forgive myself and ask for healing from this painful event.

Father, I pray for those that have lost children prematurely, that they would be comforted by the fact that they are in heaven with You. I pray that You would heal them of their wounds.  Please heal our fractured souls and fill the emptiness with Your love and peace. There are so many shattered and broken people, Lord Jesus. Put us back together again. Release waves of grace and healing and let them pour over me, and others that are also affected by abortion regret and the trauma of loss. Holy Spirit, set us free with the truth You reveal. Please let Your love release the healing that each of us need.

            On behalf of those in my family, my ancestors and the forefathers of my city and community, I confess our guilt and ask You to forgive the sin of innocent bloodshed. Father, as a nation of people, we have made room for a spirit of death.  Give us judges, leaders and government officials that will help stop the legislation that allows this great tragedy. Lord, I also know that the conviction of it must start with each individual. Let the value for human life be precious to each person. I pray that women would choose life for their unborn babies. I pray for the hearts of the people in our nation, in my family and in my city; that each of us would change, to value life and take the appropriate measures to protect and preserve it. In Jesus name, amen.


**An excerpt from the chapter Healing from Abortion Regret, in the book Healing the Heart of a Woman, available on Amazon.com.