Monday, July 15, 2013

Self-Pity Is NOT Your Friend!

Dear Friends,

I know that many people face incredible trials, disappointments, and injustice on a daily basis. Life throws us curve balls all the time. People are faced with illnesses, loss of employment, vehicles that break down, unexpected expenses that derail their finances and much more. Every day can be a challenge to continue on in our walk of faith, trusting God for the small things as well as the big things. And in all these daily challenges, what we dare not forget is that we have an evil adversary always lurking, always looking for a way to cause disillusionment and a loss of faith and trust in God. For if he is successful in this, Satan will begin to turn a person’s heart away from God. Perhaps without them even being conscious of the fact that through their painful trials and disappointment, he introduces thoughts and feelings that are of a spirit of self-pity rather than faith.

How often we chalk up bad fruit to something we consider human or harmless, when in fact the root is defiled and can only produce more corruption.  An evil root will never produce good fruit.

Misery loves company, and bitterness relives and repeats the woes of life. The chorus of complaints is led by a spirit of self-pity. The danger of self-pity is that it is the same as idol worship. Self-pity demands worship. It elicits worship from others in the form of seeking attention, sympathy, and affirmation (a form of praise). “Self” (or the person controlled by the spirit of self-pity) becomes god and those that feed this spirit become the person’s co-dependent supporters and worshippers. Self-pity cannot survive without feeding its need for worship, but the very essence of this root is bitter. It will only ever produce bad fruit.

Narcissism also comes from these spirits, and narcissism is so deeply rooted that a person no longer feels a need to repent or take responsibility for their actions. The danger of one who allows self-pity and bitterness to remain is that it presumes a wrong view of eternal security. The person is deceived into believing that they are in right relationship with God, or that grace will always be available to them, though they walk in stubbornness of heart. It is the presumption of grace that causes a person to harden their heart towards genuine repentance, choosing a lifestyle of sin and compromise over obedience to God. The Spirit desires to do the right thing and forgive. Our mind, will and emotions can be resistant, but it takes consistent, determined effort to resist the Holy Spirit and His desire to see us healed. That is why this is a sobering topic, for the penalty for retaining bitterness and unforgiveness is severe. It can literally cost a person everything, including their salvation. The ultimate fruit of bitterness is apostasy.

  • Shifts blame onto others.
  • Is easily angered and offended; pouts.
  • Sees themselves as a victim. Makes excuses and refuses the redemption of Christ.
  • Takes advantage of the compassion of others and manipulates their emotions so that others sympathize with them.
  • Would rather complain about their problems than be healed.
  • Elevates self-will rather than submission to God.
  • Refuses to take responsibility for their own areas of guilt and sin. Unrepentant.
  • Prefers spiritual weakness rather than strength from obedience.
  • Wears people out with incessant complaining and a need for attention for their issues.
  • When confronted with truth, quickly changes topic of conversation. Has a knack of intimidating others and accusing them of not caring.
  • Rejects true spiritual authority and embraces counterfeit authority or those that will not challenge them with truth.
  • Focuses on self rather than Jesus; denies the power of the cross of Christ.

Bitterness and self-pity will throw a party and invite all their friends. It’s dangerous company. Those that have these spirits often seek others that will be a partner in a co-dependent relationship, because these spirits demand attention. They cannot survive without being fed! Do you see how they also partnership with rebellion towards God? These spirits are not your friends; they are treacherous enemies that create a deadly highway of corruption straight to the soul.

If it were not for the torment in our soul, would we stop to consider the cause? Would we not grow so tired of ourselves and our misery that we would then be willing to change? The enemy uses bitterness to defile a person’s heart and defile others. His goal is to slowly but deliberately draw a person into deception so that they act presumptively to grace and make allowances for disobedience. This kind of behavior causes a person’s heart ever so slowly becomes insensitive towards conviction and the Holy Spirit trying to draw them back towards the Father. Some people are so good at rejecting truth that they honestly don’t feel convicted to change. They are convinced they aren’t guilty of wrongdoing. That is a terrible place to be because once a person has so hardened their heart in rebellion, God may not be able to reach them at all. Don’t ignore your conscience! Your conscience is there to protect you and keep you in the ways of righteousness. No one likes to feel guilt, but the truth is we need it. It is the only proper response to sin. Guilt is what eventually leads us to confess our sin so that God can cleanse us from that unrighteousness. It unlocks the door to forgiveness. In most people, truth that they know but don’t necessarily want to accept will continue to rise to the surface, especially if God is trying to communicate something to them. It’s a funny thing about truth. A person may try to run from it but truth will always follow them home. It demands a decision. We can make excuses to try and avoid dealing with it, but at the end of the day truth is still quietly staring us in the face. They gradually become so desensitized to their need to repent that at some point it becomes impossible for them to feel the desire to repent; and so, they become lost forever, eternally separated from God. Though it pains us to think that God would willingly afflict us with torment, every purpose of God is redemptive. The affliction does not come from God, it comes from the enemy. God allows affliction to torment our thoughts (sometimes our physical body, too) to drive us into Him so that we can be healed. He is the Great Physician. How great His love is; how great is His mercy! He wants us to come to Him and inquire what is wrong so that we may be healed and set free from all toxic roots and deadly sins, but we are not set free from the consequences of our sin until we repent. True repentance is a willingness to forsake that which has us entangled with sin. As long as sin festers, we are in chains, but in the day that we draw near to Him, His immediate response is, “Do not fear!”

There are times when people become willfully blind because they attempt to avoid truth. Truth doesn’t cease to exist because people don’t want to be accountable to it. Truth does have the capacity to make us uncomfortable at times. Truth is important. There are definite consequences for ignoring it, yet people will still avoid, dodge, deny or wiggle away from truth when it comes to matters that hit close to home. Do we really think we will be any better off for trying to avoid the conviction of something we need to face? Avoiding truth keeps a person stuck in a state of emotional and spiritual immaturity. Embracing truth propels us into growth.
Learning to love ourselves requires being able to embrace the truth about us and then be willing to change.

When a person desires truth it is an indicator that they have admitted to themselves that they are ready to face their illusions being shattered. Uncomfortable as it may be to face the truth, the person no longer desires willful blindness. They are ready to receive the truth because they know it has the ability to set them free and release healing.

Sin hurts. It doesn’t just hurt us, it hurts others, too. It causes all manner of mental torment, sickness, disease, loss, broken relationships, and painful events to take place in our lives, and those things affect the lives of those close to us. These things come as a result of the enemy doing what he does best: he comes only to kill, steal and destroy. Satan inflicts pain and suffering and there are times when God allows it. Discipline cleanses the heart. Father’s desired end for all people is repentance that restores us to right relationship with Him and others and also releases healing.

Ezekiel 36:22-35 contains a beautiful promise of restoration. God’s promise is that when we are cleansed from the things that make us unclean, He will restore our losses. His promise is to give us a new heart after cleansing, reverse the famine that has robbed from our lives and bring multiplication of blessing. Now that is motivation for the pursuit of holiness! The truth that frees us is the truth we must admit to ourselves and God, and perhaps another individual. It’s the confession of wrongdoing so that we may be healed. It removes the guilt from our conscience and restores a right alignment with our heavenly Father. “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:16, NIV). Notice that is says to confess our sins to one another. This sort of confession requires honesty and humility. Without honesty or humility, we cannot have fellowship with Him. God cannot fellowship with those that desire their own sin, self-deception and darkness of heart more than they desire Him. “Behold you desire truth in the inward parts and in the hidden part you will make me know wisdom.” (Ps. 51:6). He is the light shining in the darkness, but the darkness cannot comprehend Him. When Jesus shows up, He is fully aware of all the things that have prevented us from seeing Him for who He really is. He simply asks, “Do you want to be healed?” Self-pity doesn’t want you to be healed. It wants you to ignore truth and allow it to stay. So I will ask again, “Do you want to be healed?”

The truth that we need to be free is what has been with us all along. Everyone has their down days and needs comfort and friendship; someone that will understand us and lend a listening ear. But, if it becomes habitual complaining about the many difficulties of life; if you have evidence of hell unleashed to destroy, devour and plunder the things concerning your life, I urge you to consider whether or not you may have allowed a spirit of self-pity a place in your life. It is a dangerous enemy that must be confronted and resisted at any and all costs. Self-pity always has an end goal of slowly dragging its victim into rebellion and apostasy. That is death of one’s salvation. Friends, it is not worth it! Today can be a fresh start to renounce this wicked enemy of your soul and take back the authority that is yours in Christ.


Today I come to you to acknowledge that I have sinned against myself by believing lies instead of what Your word says about me. I renounce unbelief! I am not a victim; I am victorious in Christ. All things are possible to those who believe. Today I break any and all agreements with myself and Satan that have allowed spirits of rejection, self-hatred, a spirit of abandonment, fear, insecurity, inferiority, shame, bitterness, witchcraft, rebellion, jealousy, evil speaking, self-pity and unforgiveness to manifest. I renounce all seeds that have come from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and every evil seed planted by the enemy. I command those evil seeds to wither and die immediately.  I renounce all ungodly spirits and I command them to leave me at once. Help me to shut my ears to the enemy's unloving thoughts. They are not my own thoughts but his. Father, I repent for allowing these things a place in my life. I thank You for forgiveness for my sins and cleansing me of unrighteousness.   

I thank You that Your blood and Your word cleanse my conscience from unprofitable thoughts and renew my mind. Holy Spirit, forgive me for grieving You and not allowing Your Spirit to influence my thought life and actions. Heal my disappointments, my hope and my faith. I come into agreement with God. I declare that I AM fearfully and wonderfully made. I am loved, accepted, and I am blessed by the Lord. I am surrounded with favor and grace. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Blessings are chasing me down to put themselves into my hands. I am a confident person because you have made me whole and complete. I lack nothing because the Lord is my shepherd and I do not lack. Therefore, I am in want of nothing. If there is a step of faith and obedience I need to take in order to activate blessing in my life, please tell me what to do. Everything that is available to Christ is available to me, because I am a child of God. I have nothing to fear! Fear no longer has permission to bring torment. I embrace the grace You have provided through Your sacrifice, Lord Jesus, and Your love and acceptance for me. Holy Spirit, I thank You for giving me the fruit of self-control in my thought life and I ask You to empower me to live for God. Fill me with Your fullness. I ask You for supernatural assistance to overcome negative self-talk, and I give YOU authority over my mouth and my actions. Help me overcome the areas of struggle in my life. You know what they are. I thank You for victory. In Jesus name, amen.


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