Whether it came from a history of being subjected to critical, shame based parenting, or having alcoholic caretakers and a father that was paranoid schizophrenic, I learned early on that something about our family wasn’t normal - and it brought a sense of shame. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. Many people do, but I always felt like I was covered in shame.
As a teen, I looked for love in all the wrong places and at 18 I married a young man that was a textbook narcissist. It began with him cutting off the few relationships I had. Then it was anger and violent outbursts. He was pysically, sexually and emotionally abusive. He threatened to take my child, which he did, briefly, at one point. When I left him, he threatened to kill himself, confronted me at work with violence, and stalked me, breaking into my apartments. He vandalized my car repeatedly so that I could no longer use it, stole finances and tried to get me fired thinking that if I was financially desperate I would have no choice but to go back to him. He believed he owned me. I remember him telling me one day that he had no respect for me, and I felt very angry. I thought, "Well, I will make you respect me." That's when I began to fight for my freedom. When I got a court mediator involved, it was extremely frustrating because he so turned the story around, he had them convinced he hadn't done anything wrong! I felt like I always had to look over my shoulder until he finally moved out of state. Many women who do not have a healthy sense of their own worth are attracted to narcissists and abusers because abusers are so skilled in deception and manipulation. Abusers can easily identify weaknesses that allow them to turn others into victims. I lost any ability to function well and began to turn more and more to alcohol to numb the fear, pain, isolation and anxiety.
I grew up feeling insignificant, unimportant and fearful. When a person doesn’t feel valued, they realize that their voice isn’t important, either. Sometimes we learn that speaking up for ourselves isn’t safe. So, we learn to be quiet and continue to take the abuse, over and over again.
Demonic spirits target wounded people and will act as magnets towards one another. This is why cycles often repeat with other individuals. Demonic spirits have an assignment to continue to destroy lives, and they team up with one another in very strategic ways. Because I was emotionally unhealthy, I was attracted to all the wrong situations and individuals, which only served to leave me more and more broken. My life was a trail of abusive relationships, one after another.
By the time I was in my early thirties, I was full of anger, bitterness, self-rejection and self-hatred. I was miserable in my life and covered with more shame than I could bear. I hated who I had become. Part of me wanted to die, but I was too afraid to attempt suicide, so all I did was drink. A lot. And overdose, repeatedly.
I had a brief moment of clarity when I asked myself, “Do I want to live, or die?” Followed by a desperate cry to the Lord to save me. In a string of supernatural events He did just that, and through a small church, I found a lifeline of hope.
At first, everything seemed great. I met some Christian women, attended bible study every week and began to serve my church. As I grew in the Lord, I began to notice some things that didn’t seem right. I recognized familiar attitudes and behaviors such as criticism and put-downs, favoritism, rejection, competition, control, perfectionism and intimidation. Elitism and religious pride was also very strong in the entire church. Yet, I was used to dysfunction and so I stayed.
One night I went to a Bible study at the church. I sat towards the back of the church and listened to a few of the people that were praying. I was shocked, because what I unknowingly walked in on, and what they were praying about, was a plot to overthrow the pastor. I was stunned and left without saying anything, but they saw that I was there. I understood it was a Jezebel assignment but I had no idea how to stop it. One mistake I made was telling a friend what I had observed, and that person shared the information with someone that was involved. From that moment on, it became an all out attack to destroy my reputation. This was the birthplace of the prophetic in my life, and it was also how the Lord trained me in warfare, but it was the most painful thing I ever experienced.
What I did not understand at the time was how to define narcissist behavior, or how far people were willing to go to get what they wanted. I was familiar with that behavior with my ex-husband, but I didn’t expect it in the church. I did not expect betrayal from those I considered family. These were people that were in positions of trust and leadership. Narcissists and abusers in general are highly skilled in the art of deception, manipulation and changing the narrative. They know how to draw people in to gain their trust, and often don't show their true colors until much later. Narcissists, psychopaths and abusers all have similar traits in common. They know how to convey disappointment so that others feel they can never seem to measure up. This leaves people feeling like they should try harder to please them. Narcissists also know how to punish people by withholding love, attention or words of affirmation, which causes people to feel as though they have to walk on eggshells not to upset them. Narcs and abusers manipulate and hurt others deliberately. The fact that they can turn it off and on at will, depending on who they are having a relationship with, is evidence that they are in control of their actions, and they know exactly what they are doing. They often lie convincingly and believe their own lies, which makes them appear so genuine when they lie to others. Abusers cannot seem to take responsibility for their actions, and constantly shift the blame to others. It is so important to discern the truth through prayer, because people will misread situations if they only listen to what others are saying, and not depending on the Holy Spirit for truth and discernment. There were several narcissists in this little church I attended, and others were among the family of enablers.
During this extremely difficult time in my life, there were meetings and accusations, but the Lord told me not to defend myself. That was incredibly difficult but I realized those people had already made their judgments and aligned with the accuser, so it wouldn’t have made a difference. It took a long time to figure out that what was going on was spiritual abuse. Religious abuse can be much more subtle in the fact that it uses manipulation of scripture to control people, using guilt, shame and condemnation, so it's a slower process and disguised differently than domestic abuse. Spiritual abuse appeals to a person's desire to want to do the right thing and be honorable before God, and there was also a strong sense of fear and intimidation. There was a lot going on behind the scenes to destroy the church through gossip, suspicion, and accusations. People would drive by my home, follow me and take pictures, even a few very aggressive confrontations by a couple of them. There were attacks on my teenage daughter, public shaming and more. It felt like there was no place to escape the constant stress and anxiety. I could hardly believe this type of behavior came from "church people," but it did. Abusers and especially narcissists will not relent until they cause an emotional break in their victims. This deprives the target of their dignity, self-confidence, self-worth and their sense of autonomy. They have to feel as if they won and have control over their targets.
I had never been healed from the abuse I endured before all this happened. I was broken coming into the church, but the enemy wasn’t satisfied until I was completely shattered. One of the absolute worst things was when certain people put spyware on my computer at the church as well as the pastor’s, and then compiled various emails at random trying to build a case against us. They wanted to create suspicion and they mailed these packets (anonymously, of course) to people in the church, people in other churches and pastoral networks in an attempt to destroy our credibility from anyone that might know us. Later I found out that people that I thought were friends knew this was going on but didn’t say anything because they didn’t want to get involved. I felt completely ambushed and embarrassed. I had no idea what had been sent to others; all I knew was I was being accused of having an inappropriate relationship with the pastor. This caused an enormous amount of anger, anxiety, rejection, shame, and wounding. It also released offense, judgement and discord into the body of Christ. I felt betrayed by the body, betrayed by leaders, and distrustful of other Christians. I often felt, “Where do I go from here?” I did not know how to recover. The church was supposed to be the place of healing, yet it was the last place I felt I could trust.
I felt extreme fear, anxiety, and traumatized. The pastor and I both felt completely overwhelmed, knowing we had already lost the battle. I won’t go into details regarding his personal life struggles during that time except to say that the people that were involved in destroying him were the closest to him, both at home and in the church. The betrayal ran very deep. The behavior of a narcissist is carefully and deliberately orchestrated, depending on who they are dealing with, and the story that was public was not the whole truth. Those that are guilty never tell on themselves because it doesn’t suit their narrative. Factions, jealousy, pride, competition, sexual immorality, slander, and impurity are evil influences that invaded the church. People looked for others to accuse in an attempt to deflect attention away from themselves.
And then, largely because of all the opposition against us that had been going on for a long time, we began to thoroughly discuss all the events that had transpired and the night I had walked in on the prayer meeting. We became closer because we felt everyone else was against us. I kept thinking the truth would eventually prevail, but it didn’t. And, when it became obvious that the battle was lost - even though we had not done anything wrong up to that point - it wasn't long after that when we both lost our conviction to resist temptation. We were worn out and worn down from the battle. Have you ever felt weak? Have you ever felt extremely alone in a battle and long for someone to understand your pain? Have you ever been so crushed that you were willing to sacrifice your convictions for love and comfort? That is where we were at that time. Spiritual warfare is real, and people put the enemy on assignment with the words they speak. It ended up taking us down, in part because we had absolutely no prayer protection left. We ended up falling in love, left the church, and started a new life. It wasn’t that simple, of course. It was messy and ugly. There were prank phone calls and voicemail messages, scathing emails, hate mail with word curses, and other harrassment for a long, long time. We both take responsibility for our wrongdoing. Inappropriate things happened that I won’t try to justify, but this story is about more than us being tempted and falling into sin. It started with a great deal of lonliness and brokenness in both of our lives, living with situations that were beyond intolerable, feeling completely abandoned, the discovery of a plot for a church takeover, and trauma inflicted by some very evil minded people. Our story deals with soul wounds and deep trauma. This church was spiritually sick, but hid it behind masks of pride, pretense and hypocrisy. The enemy already had control of the church and the members couldn't see how they cooperated with his plan.
You may be asking the question, “Why didn’t you just leave? I’ll tell you why. I was outnumbered by people with credibility in the community and I didn’t think anyone would believe me. My self esteem and confidence were lower than they had ever been. I did not know how to handle the situation. There was a family of enablers surrounding these people. Some people also misused scripture to make me feel that I should cover the sins of others “in love” or turn the other cheek. During the time that they had put spyware on our computers, (this spanned about 6-8 months), several of the key people (the narcissists) suddenly began to treat me a little better, and I thought perhaps the situation was changing for the better. They were really just trying to keep me confused as to what they were doing behind the scenes. It ended up making me feel very unsure as to the right "Christian" thing to do. God allowed me to see the exposure of evil so that I would recognize it and discern the spirits at work, but it came at the sacrifice of my reputation and dignity. I was embarrassed that this was going on in my church and didn’t want to expose it to public scrutiny. But aside from that, my pastor became my dear friend, and he was under heavy attack, too. I couldn't leave him alone with the wolves.
The enemy has taunted me over the years by asking, “What’s the point of trying to tell your story? Who do you think is going to believe you?” I think there are actually a lot of people that will believe me, because if anyone has experience with a narc or an abuser, they know how confusing and twisted things can become. It's the story you don't want to tell - and the one the enemy is AFRAID you'll tell - that's anointed for breakthrough. Friend, if you've got a story you don't want to tell, it's time to let it out. When you unlock your story, you unlock the power of God. The anointing for breakthrough is upon it! Not just for you, but for others that will gain strength and encouragment from hearing your story. God deserves the glory for the victory He has given you! Humility through transparency is the living proof that God's victory is real.
It's been 18 years since those events occurred. For a long time, I was silenced by shame regarding my own immorality in that situation. The enemy wanted me to feel intimidated to tell my story. So much so, that some of these people from the past would pop up periodically and send emails or challenge us on social media, trying to shame us into silence. This went on for more than 8 years, on and off. We had been gone from the church, lived in another state for some of that time, had no contact with anyone, and they still tracked us down. They emailed others to inform them of our past, trying to isolate us from anyone that would allow us to get a fresh start. Shame was the enemy’s weapon of choice. God doesn't anoint people to take vengeance or inflict wrath. The enemy does that. The enemy's plan backfired big time because all it did was increase our anointing. What you've overcome is where you have authority.
We all want a great story of redemption, but mine wasn’t pretty. It hurt. I had a lot of shame to overcome, feelings of anger, betrayal, trauma, fear and rejection. Me and my husband were rejected by everyone we knew. My story involved deep loneliness, isolation, and feeling that we were swallowed up by darkness. It was hard to experience the pain of those we thought loved us utterly cut us off, even when we attempted to make amends with some of the people. A few allowed a healing to take place, but most kept the door closed. I realized that was God protecting us from relationships that were't going to follow us into our future. Some were opponents without remorse. It was extremely difficult to know that some people rejoiced in our pain and misery. To be scrutinized by other people that heard rumors and think they know your story - but don’t - is disheartening. Pastors that shared our story with others in ministry, but got the facts wrong because they didn’t know the whole story, didn’t care to ask us, and were not concerned with our restoration; that hurt, too. There were some seasoned ministers that counseled others from their offense and justified unforgiveness. This also came as somewhat of a shock. A religious spirit was very, very strong, but control and manipulation are witchcraft, and this little church had been overtaken by those spirits. It was just one more reason why we found it so difficult to integrate back into the body of Christ. It took me much longer than it took my husband, but we both struggled in our own way and needed time to process and work through things. One of the most frustrating parts was certain people insisting that we seek reconciliation with those that were the very ones responsible for tearing us down and inflicting the abuse.
Getting beyond the shame of failure and learning to forgive those that misunderstand you is one of the most difficult things to overcome, but healing doesn’t take place by holding it in. Emotional pain grows toxic when we hold it in. Healing comes by sharing what we’ve gone through so that pain can find a way to be released. We had a lof of inner healing and deliverance issues to work through, but God has been faithful. When you feel like all your trust was broken, it takes great courage to allow others to be a part of your healing process, but let me assure you that it is necessary. God works through others, and it’s His compassion flowing through His servants that helps heal our wounds. It is prayers of forgiveness towards those that hurt us that releases our own heart to heal. God wants to take our pain and use it for something redemptive. He will lead us to safe connections if we take the baby steps to ask, pray, and allow Him to guide us.
I finally came to terms with telling my story, not because I was eager to, but because I was so tired of feeling like I had been intimidated into silence. It’s been many years since the abuse in my life took place, but I found myself asking why I was still hesitant to tell the full story. It's not something I wanted to dig up and talk about, and some people would even say it's ministry suicide to admit to this sort of failure; but, ultimately I had no good answer. This was our lives the enemy chose to destroy, and I have the right to share the truth about those events. My hope is that others that have experienced abuse in some manner will find the courage to make changes in their lives, believe in themselves again, and share their own stories. This is how we gain strength and courage to recover from the pain, shame and trauma of abuse. There are many facets of a narcissist, psychopath, or abuser. They count on being able to fool others and hide in secrecy so that they can avoid accountability. The enemy’s tactics should be exposed so people can call it what it is: abuse and injustice. God does not want anyone to suffer in silence and allow pain to destroy them.
Shame can paralyze a person and disconnect them from their destiny. It is so important to find others you can trust to be a part of your healing. I am here today because I allowed God to help me work through my pain. I am no longer controlled by fear. We are all human and we all have a breaking point. The enemy doesn’t want us to tell others what he did to get us to the breaking point. He doesn’t want others to have compassion. He wants people to be full of judgement and criticism, and focus on things that may offend them because that is how he keeps the body fractured and disconnected. Satan wants offense in the church. He wants division, suspicion and gossip so that he can destroy people and God’s churches from the inside out, and he wants to gloat about it. Satan's only job description is to cause pain. He comes only to kill, steal and destroy. As Christians, if we sense something that triggers offense or criticism about someone else, let us not focus on the offense. Instead, let us begin to ask ourselves, "What happened in this person's life to cause this issue?" "What did the enemy do to bring this person to this place?" We must engage with compassion over judgment.
Satan tried to convince me that others would only believe the part about my failure, but not about what had been done to create such a messed up spiritual environment, or to wear us down with warfare and cause an emotional break. I used to think that was true. However, the more I learn about other people’s experiences with narcissists and abuse, the more I understand there are those that will believe the truth because they’ve had their own experience. Religious abuse is just as traumatizing as any other form of abuse. Scripture is twisted (the result of a perverse spirit) and used as a form of brainwashing to manipulate others. This church was having an affair with the spirit of adultery and idolatry, coming from a motivation of selfish ambition, lust for power and position. Religious pride is blinding. It can become cultish if not seen for what it is, and often people don't realize how unhealthy a spiritual environment can become until they are free from it. Spiritual abuse is injustice in one of the worst ways because it misrepresents the heart and ways of God, and once people have been hurt by the counterfeit, it can take a long, long time for them to turn back to the Lord.
While my story includes a chapter on failure, ultimately it is a story of resilience and redemption. Because no matter how messy or shameful things may get, it’s not over yet. We survive by telling ourselves, “It’s only a chapter,” knowing that God would never leave us drowning in an ocean of pain, rejection and shame. There are seasons of pain and growth that feel like we can’t get through them, but they do end. It is not the end of the story, and you can choose a different ending no matter what you've done or what the enemy has atttempted to do to box you in, tear you down, or destroy your life. Our Father is the Creator of new things and new chapters! Hold on to that hope. Our Father has written many beautiful chapters into our stories of resilience. We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.
Our testimony trumps all the power of the enemy. Every. Single. Time.
Truth bears witness to those that hear it. Truth will triumph over darkness and deception. The enemy hates that his best efforts to destroy me only made me stronger. It didn't feel like it for a long time, believe me, but God has done a mighty work in my life, and my husband's. Today, I am an author, a prayer counselor and a capable, confident woman of God. I am not defined by my past. I do not chart my course by what an opponent may say about me. I did not give away my dominion but fought to get it back. My destiny is recorded in a book in heaven, authored by my loving Father, and it has many beautiful chapters yet to be told. There is always purpose through the darkness, and a future waiting to be discovered. I am not bound by bitterness, or shamed into silence, as he hoped I would be, because Jesus paid the price for my redemption. He paid for my sin, my shame, and all the ugliness of my past. Jesus also paid for the beauty of a life that has been restored. I found my voice. I encourage you to find yours, because you have a story the world is waiting to hear.
I do want to take a moment to comment on sins of the mouth. There are many scriptures about talebearers and the wounds they create in others. Whether it's through carelessness or deliberate wrong use of speech, sins of the tongue have a widespread reach, like a ripple effect, to do a tremendous amount of damage. The wrong use of words are equated with the sin of murder in scripture. Words can destroy a person's livelihood, their future, their family life, friendships, and destiny connections. What is not always mentioned is the effect that it has on those that give their mouth over to the use of the enemy. The judgments that we make about others becomes the same standard by which we are judged. (Matthew 7:1, Romans 14:4) These are sins that boomerang back into the lives of those that misuse their speech to destroy others. Those that are teachers of the word of God are held to a stricter standard of judgment. (James 3:1)
Sins of the tongue have the capacity to make a person hard hearted. God does not take cruelty lightly! Proverbs 6:16-19 says:
There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to Him;
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness that pours out lies,
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
A person that gives themselves over to tearing others down is self-deceived. In our former church, those people that were attacking us felt they were anointed to expose evil. Two of them (a couple) had actually done something similar to their former church and left a trail of destruction before they came to ours. They thought they were protecting God's work by scrutinizing others with a critical spirit, and revealing what they felt was wrong. They broadcast the sins, shortcomings, faults and failures of others. There was nothing redemptive, holy or pure about their actions. The Holy Spirit is a healer, not a destroyer. These people did not know what spirit was at work in them. They didn't exemplify the heart or character of God in the least. Motivated by evil desires, selfish ambition and arrogance, their hearts were deceived by their own pride. The lesson is, when someone attempts to strip others of honor, they actually do it to themselves. God wasn't standing with them in agreement. He is opposed to that sort of behavior.
Talebearers release judgment into their own lives.
Those that act as a destroyer to others, and treat them treacherously by acting falsely and deceitfully, will receive the very same treatment from others according to Isaiah 33:1.
Woe to you, O destroyer,
While you were not destroyed,
and he who is treacherous,
while others did not deal treacherously with him
As soon as you finish destroying,
you will be destroyed.
As soon as you cease to deal treacherously,
others will deal treacherously with you.
That is proof enough that no one needs to take vengeance into their own hands. God will take care of it. He is long suffering, but when there is no repentance, judgment can strike quickly without warning.
In summary, and there is much more that can be taught on inappropriate speech or character issues, it is important to understand that the laws of sowing and reaping are always in effect. People may not reap what they've sown for a very long time, but God will not be mocked. Bad behavior separates people from the presence of God. It's not even so much that God is keeping them at a distance, but the fact that people can become so self-deceived and their hearts hardened in sin that they don't offer any sincere repentance. When a person's actions offend God, the only thing He is listening for is the prayer of genuine repentance so that the person's relationship with God is back on track. Psalm 24:3 asks a question. "Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in His holy place?" The answer is this, found in the next verse:
"He who has clean hands,
and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear deceitfully..."
Again in Psalm 15, David asks the Lord, "Who may abide in your tent? Who may dwell on your holy mountain?" The answer is verses 2-4 is,
"He who walks with integrity and practices righteousness, who speaks the truth from his heart,
who has no slander on his tongue,
who does no harm to his neighbor,
who casts no scorn on his friend,
who despises the vile,
but honors those that fear the Lord..."
May we all be those that seek to climb higher with the Lord, throwing off every weight that hinders us from drawing closer to Him. And, may we each confess our faults and sins so that we may be cleansed of unrighteousness.
To those who are struggling in a bad situation: Nothing will be solved by staying in an abusive situation. Please stop justifying wrong behavior and making excuses, allowing others to mistreat you. Please stop giving away your dominion! Your life has value! You may not believe in yourself, but Jesus does. He assigned value to your life because He died for you. He came to set the captives free. Even if you’re saying to yourself, “Well it’s not physically abusive…” Abuse doesn’t have to be physical to destroy you. Emotional wounds inflicted by words can be more painful and destructive than physical wounds. Jesus equated the sin of destroying someone with their words to be just as damaging as committing the act of murder. (Prov. 11:9, Prov. 18:21, 1 John 3:15) Words contain power to destroy your self-esteem, your convictions, your inner fortitude and your ability to serve God free and healed. The enemy knows how powerful words can be, and he weaponizes words to turn people into slaves. You can choose a different life than the one you have now. I pray you find the inner strength to stand up for yourself.
To the enablers: If you are close enough to a person or a situation to know that someone is being mistreated, you need to speak up because you are willfully enabling evil and corruption. Psalm 82:2 challenges us with a question. “How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked?” God does not look at self-preservation the way you do. Protecting the offender is for reasons of your own self-interest. Passivity towards those that are deliberately creating injustice towards others should not be encouraged.. Are you the example of the Good Samaritan that helps someone in need, or will you continue to turn a blind eye and walk away? No one that places their loyalties with a hypocrite, an abusive person or one that defrauds others can stand before God with a pure heart. If you know you can be a voice of truth to help reverse injustice, please take a stand and do what is right. Love considers the welfare of others. In the words of James 4:17, “If anyone knows the good they ought to do, and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” Speaking up about what you know can help deliver people from darkness, deception and injustice.
To Pastors and the church: Please use wisdom and discernment through prayer to determine the truth. So many situations have been misunderstood because of misinformation or a lack of prayer. The first person to tell their side of the story may not always be telling the reality of what's actually going on. Sometimes people just want to be the first to be heard, hoping to tip the scales in their favor. Many people have been wrongly counseled to reconcile with people they shouldn’t because those doing the ‘counseling’ failed to properly discern the situation. Narcissists and abusers are famous for rewriting the truth to redirect the attention off of themselves. Abuse is about control, power, and the sacrifice of their target's identity. Please refer abuse situations to a professional counselor if necessary, but don’t counsel people with wrong information. Those that lie, manipulate and inflict pain on others need help, but they must want change and be willing to go through the process of deliverance and making amends. Even if they do, it is not wisdom to counsel others to stay with an abuser. Healing from those things take a very long time, and often people cannot heal until they can completely remove themselves from the source of their trauma.
If someone brings up issues concerning another person, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal their motives for doing so. Those that sow discord, mistrust or suspicion often act as if they are bringing up the subject with good intentions. Self-deceived people believe they are doing God a service but their motive is impure. When people go to others with the express purpose of exposing something or saying things that disgrace others, they usually harbor a spirit of offense. Remember how Jezebel hired unscrupulous liars to accuse Naboth so that his testimony was discredited. He was murdered because of wrong testimony, and subsequently, his inheritance was given to those to whom it did not rightfully belong. How long will we, as members in the body of Christ, cut off destiny connections and doors of opportunity because we speak the wrong things? The enemy always looks for ways to cut people off from their inheritance and future opportunities. Look beyond the face and the familiar. What is the motive? Pray for the Spirit of Understanding so that the enemy cannot deceive you. What does the Holy Spirit have to say? This is wisdom to keep our hearts free from false judgments. The world doesn't need religion; it needs compassionate healers.
If you are struggling with an abuse situation, please get professional help. No one needs to tolerate injustice. There are people that will understand your pain. You have value! Please, don’t let yourself be mistreated. If you need help getting free from the emotional pain, please find someone that can help you work through it. You are important, and you deserve to have a life filled with hope, freedom and healing! If you would like help, please visit my page on prayer counseling services. More on the topics of narcissism, abuse and the complexities of shame are found in my new book, "The Book Satan Doesn't Want You To Read," available on Amazon.
For more information on both overt and covert narcissism, I'd like to recommend a very informative article.
https://weenacullins.medium.com/the-covert-narcissist-guide-1e46959a6bd1
