Shame and humiliation are powerful emotions that can have a significant impact on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. Sometimes it comes from our own poor decisions and behavior, and at other times shame and humiliation comes from the harsh words and actions of others. Shame and humiliation can also come from things such as chronic poverty, handicaps and other things beyond our ability to control. These negative emotions can arise from a wide range of experiences, including public embarrassment, personal failure, and social rejection. The effects of shame and humiliation can be far-reaching, impacting a person’s self esteem, relationships, and overall quality of life.
One of the most damaging effects of shame and humiliation is the way it can erode a person’s self esteem. When a person experiences these negative emotions, they may begin to question their worth and value as a human being. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy,self-doubt, and low self-confidence, making it difficult for them to engage with others and pursue their goals. The enemy weaponizes shame and humiliation as an attempt to neutralize the power and effectiveness of Christians so that they are defiled by bitterness, rejection and pride, causing them to become unfit for the Master’s greater purposes. Sometimes he employs other Christians or even ourselves to do his dirty work. Satan will utilize the words of others to inflict shame, criticism, false judgments and a sense of rejection, which result in feelings of deep humiliation in the recipient of those words and actions. It is an excruciating, corrosive emotion. Shame causes people to feel inherently bad, defective and wrong at the core of who they are as a human being.
We have also experienced this type of behavior from people who were blinded by their own pride and self righteousness. It is a trap from the enemy that can be easy to fall into. How often a person judges themselves by one standard (their opinions) and others by another standard which is often much harsher. That is hypocrisy. This is not God's standard of righteous judgment. His word is His standard! Elevating criticisms, opinions and judgments above showing mercy and compassion can put people in the employment of the accuser. When people are influenced by the spirit of legalism and have rejected the grace of God, they are declaring a different gospel and they come under condemnation and a curse. (See Galatians 1:9) The scripture in James 2:13 reminds us that judgment without mercy is what remains for those that have shown no mercy. God's heart in any circumstance is that mercy would triumph over judgment! People that broadcast the shame and humiliation of others, and enjoy inflicting pain because they think it makes them feel better about themselves are under condemnation. They do not realize what spirit they have given themselves over to. They are self condemned, and often project the condemnation and rejection they feel onto others. A person that feels unworthy, condemned and rejected condemns others, and can become very critical. It is a form of bullying and portraying a false Jesus with a false gospel message that is very displeasing to the Lord.
One of the roles every Christian has is the dual roles of a priest/intercessor and a king, exercising their royal authority. The job of every priest is reconciliation, approaching God on behalf of others and praying for mercy. The priest is to take on the mantle of intercession as Jesus does, in compassion praying for healing, freedom and restoration so that the damage caused by sin can be repaired and relationships made whole again. This is what restores peace between God and others.
Shame and humiliation can also impact a person’s relationships with others. If a person feels ashamed or humiliated, they may avoid social situations or withdraw from others out of fear of being judged or rejected. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, sometimes even suicidal thoughts and feelings, further exacerbating their negative emotions. It's important to separate what we've done with who we are in Christ. It's ok to sometimes feel bad about things we've done, that means we still have a conscience that is working to keep us in the path of righteousness. What's not ok is internalizing negative emotions and allowing them to rewrite the truth of who God says we are. In Christ, the blood of Jesus atones for our sin and wipes out the penalties of all our mistakes, our sins, and the guilt associated with them. It is also the blood of Jesus that has the power to cleanse our conscience of guilt.
"...how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?" Heb. 9:14
"...let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water." Heb. 10:22
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9
Fortunately, there is hope for those who struggle with shame, feelings of disgrace, and humiliation. Jesus Christ offers a message of hope and healing for all who are burdened by these negative emotions. Through His teaching and example, Jesus shows us that we are beloved children of God, worthy of love and acceptance. There are many examples in scripture where God’s children cried out for God to take away the reproach and fear of being humiliated at the hands of their enemies. Note one such plea from Psalm 25.
“Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long.” Psalm 25:1
One of the most powerful ways Jesus sets us free is through His unconditional love. Jesus teaches us that we are loved not because of what we do or how we look, but simply because we are God’s children. This love can help us overcome feelings of shame, rejection, humiliation or fear of embarrassment, as we learn to see ourselves as beloved and worthy of love. Jesus paid the price for our fears, our sin, and all the pain that has been inflicted upon us through His death and resurrection. God doesn’t remember all our past failures or the shame associated with those things, and He doesn’t want us to remember that pain, either.
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See! I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up. Do you not perceive it?” Isaiah 43:18-20
God calls us to forget the things that are behind us and focus forward on running the race. We cannot run well if we are always looking behind us. Let God take care of the past!
Another way Jesus sets us free is through His forgiveness. When we make mistakes or experience some sort of failure, it can be easy to feel embarrassed or perhaps even humiliated. However, Jesus offers us forgiveness, reminding us that we are all imperfect and in need of grace. We all fall short of the glory of God. This forgiveness can help us let go of our negative emotions and move forward in help and confidence.
God has promised that those that put their trust in Him would not be put to shame. It takes a focused effort to rehearse His promises and let His good intentions towards us cause all the painful words of others to pale in comparison. If you have agreed with the many voices of accusation, self condemnation, shame, humiliation, reproach, self rejection and inferiority, it’s time to be intentional and speak it out loud that you are canceling that agreement (and the assignment of the enemy that he has been enforcing against you!).
The key to overcoming is through humility, which is not at all the same as being humiliated. When we humble ourselves before God, it is to accept His truth and what He has said about us rather than elevating the hurtful words and criticisms of others above His word. Humility also doesn’t try to put a proud spin on our failures or shift the blame onto others. It takes responsibility for our faults, is honest about them, and then puts one’s trust in God to restore rather than looking to the approval of man. We never have to gain the approval of a rival or someone that has been instrumental in wounding us in order for God to do something miraculous. God’s intentions towards us are always for our healing, reconciliation and restoration, but He does resist us when we are acting proud. We are reminded in James 4;6,7 to first submit to God (repentance and confession), then we can resist the enemy and he must leave.
We overcome all the enemy’s tactics through the blood of Jesus and the word of our testimony. You see, shame needs secrecy and our agreement in order to remain. But, when we tell our story honestly and in humility, His anointing comes upon us for breakthrough and healing others. The enemy has no power over us as we share our testimonies because telling our stories is what breaks the fear of rejection and the fear of embarrassment the enemy uses against us. God has promised that His children will not be put to shame if we put our confidence in Him.
“Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.” Isaiah 61:7
The negative effects of shame and humiliation can be significant, impacting a person’s self-esteem, relationships and overall quality of life. However, through the beautiful example of Jesus’ sacrificial life, His teachings and His forgiveness, we can find healing and hope.By embracing His message of love and forgiveness, we can overcome our negative emotions and live a life of joy and purpose.
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